she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
