Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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