Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
