He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
