apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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