I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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