You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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