she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize