Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's official drugs can't kill me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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