My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
even my farts smell like vagina
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it penis luge time yet?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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