her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
