My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
