he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
