so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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