Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
