Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize