I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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