allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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