I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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