xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
