I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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