You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
