I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
