Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
