that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
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No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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