I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
