so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
