Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
