The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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