I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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