Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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