I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
