omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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