i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
