I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
