im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
