just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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