just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize