Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize