Kiss
Puke
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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