She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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