You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize