I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Can I color on your dick again?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
