she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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