jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
