I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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