i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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