A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
