My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
