Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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