I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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