you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
pray to the hookup gods
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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