I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize