Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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