I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
