i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
