so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
