I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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