Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
