the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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