it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
