i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
