I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
