as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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