So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
