You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
