please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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