if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
