I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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