I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
