I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
