He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
