1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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